• Minding Those Milestones: Looking After Your State Of Mind As You Approach Your Mid-20s .. or so

    Minding Those Milestones: Looking After Your State Of Mind As You Approach Your Mid-20s .. or so

    It seems that as you get older, you’ve got a bigger metaphorical mountain to climb. Not just in the fact that everything appears to be heading south, such as your exposure to illnesses and bugs, but your responsibilities and stress levels increase, as your mind seems to dull (seriously my memory is nonexistent these days). While this may sound like the rantings of someone entering the latter stages of their life, the fact is even when you turn 18, this is the beginning of everything going downhill. Now, this isn’t to say that you have to be negative about the rest of your life, but it’s about taking control of your attitudes of your existence, taking more things seriously (like skincare and self care), and growing up. What can we all do to make sure that we have a positive state of mind as we enter key milestones in our life, from our early 20s, to the big 3-0, and beyond?

    Think For Yourself

    We spent a lot of time preoccupied with things that don’t necessarily matter in the long run. Can you remember being in high school and sweating the small stuff? Ugh, how exhausting! And while there are so many different things for us to consider as we get older, we sometimes choose to follow the herd rather than remain the fiercely independent versions of ourselves from our youth. Look at a toddler, they have their own mind, blissfully happy and independent, and they know what to do with themselves marching to their own innocent beats. Somehow as we get older, however, we learn to fall into line: societal norms, expectations, etc. As a result, we don’t think as independently or freely as we used to. As we get older, we feel we need to tow the line. And, to an extent, this is true. But remember the old adage, rules were meant to be broken. This is something that we should carry with us! Challenge the old rules, introduce new ideas and concepts, spark an evolution of thinking or doing! It’s so easy to look at someone else and feel the need or want to copy them, for whatever reason. And yes, there are many issues we struggle with in our late teens and early twenties, such as fashion trends, what’s popular, peer pressure, and what is considered hip and now. And to an extent, these things aren’t always essential, but it’s vital that you think for yourself and retain a sense of individuality. I don’t know about you but the happiest version of myself arrived when I started embracing who I was, not who everyone else wanted me to be!

    Worry Less About Perceptions Of You

    This goes hand in hand with wanting to be popular, we all worry about what other people think of us. But as you get older, you start to care less – or at least I hope so. In our late teens and early twenties, we have more superficial concerns, and popularity is a vital currency. Insert the ever-growing social media world and the need to validate yourself through numbers of likes/comments/followers/etc. It’s gross and unhealthy. And while it’s easy to say we should’nt care about what other people think of you, we can’t help it – even I get caught up in it until I snap myself out of it. But what you should remember is that when it comes to making decisions about your life, you should do what is best for you. Now, this isn’t to say you should be supremely selfish, but the important things in life are about your state of mind and what benefits you. I always hear in the back of my mind (like my own little Jiminy Cricket) if I’ve done something to please someone else, or to please me. When I first started walking my path of ownership and decisions, I felt somewhat self-conscious. I almost felt showy or overly confident. This, however, is normal. You’ll begin to  develop a sense of confidence  along with your new approach to life and in turn, doing what you want to do in life won’t evoke fear of being made fun of, displeasing someone, or falling short of popularity. Let go of FOMO and become your own fearless leader.

    Do What Makes You Happy

    Don’t please everybody, and don’t leave yourself last. I was the worst about this! Always tending to the needs of anyone and everyone around me while forgetting how to care for myself. It’s basically creating your own boundaries – which at first can weigh heavily on your mind. Saying no sometimes makes you feel guilty, right? Forget that pish posh – saying no is healthy and good for you otherwise you’ll find yourself feeling trampled. Don’t be that person everyone walks all over. Sometimes we need to do what makes us happy, and we know when we’ve done something that compromises our happiness. Very simply (and obviously), you won’t feel happy. Whether this is in relationships where you put the other person first, or you help others who end up stepping all over you, life can be a very difficult machine indeed. But if you go through life prioritising your happiness, this will certainly benefit your state of mind and overall state of health. In life we pass up opportunities, and we carry the regrets throughout the rest of our days, like anchors on a ship. Fortunately, missed opportunities give us chance to assess what does and doesn’t make us happy. The future and all possibilities within is ever-changing. We now have the ability to explore various careers throughout our adulthood instead of saddling into one preordained career for life. This is why so many people go travelling, or people try different careers. It’s these basic things that contribute to a sense of stability and happiness in life. And as bombastic as these ideas sound, it’s vital when approaching your key milestones in life, that you have no regrets.

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    Photography by Rebecca with BeckleyCo

    tara

    38 Comments

    1. March 19, 2018 / 2:40 am

      I couldn’t agree more. Women, well men too, need to own their joy. Make decisions toward that best life. Also not in your post but, it is healthy heart month. Take care of the health they have. Exercise, eat right, visit your physician when you think you need to. Preventative health, I failed myself and I want everyone to learn from my mistakes.

    2. March 19, 2018 / 7:35 am

      Superb advice!

      I only wish I’d had in my 20s/30s…

    3. Ingrid
      March 19, 2018 / 10:25 am

      I do think for myself. I am learning to worry less about what others thing about me and doing what makes me happy. I sometimes fall of the wagon for it is a journey .

    4. March 19, 2018 / 12:28 pm

      I have my Birthday soon and your post reflects how I feel. I should think less of others and more of myself. There are no real limits.

    5. March 19, 2018 / 2:33 pm

      Time really goes by so fast! With age I have become more wiser in thinking for myself and not worrying about what other think of me. I am a strong, independent and smart woman. I try to surround myself with positive people and to be kind and not pass judgement Doing what makes you happy with passion and purpose is what it is all about.

    6. March 19, 2018 / 4:51 pm

      I agree with all of this! As I’ve matured, my f*cks and worries of people’s perception of me has diminished greatly.

    7. the sophia diaries
      March 19, 2018 / 5:42 pm

      i totally agree! thank you for sharing these because it’s totally true and definitely something i’m going through right now as I’m heading to my mid-20’s! especially the part about other’s perception of you!

    8. March 19, 2018 / 10:11 pm

      your earrings are FAB in those photos!! I’m obsessed!

    9. March 20, 2018 / 1:08 am

      Really love that dress. For me its seems like the older that I get, the more stressed out that I get. I am slowly working on it to take a step back and take a breather.

    10. March 20, 2018 / 3:38 am

      These are such good points! I’ve been working hard lately on not caring what other people think as much. It’s been difficult, but rewarding.

    11. March 20, 2018 / 4:24 am

      I agree and wrote a similar post a couple of months ago. Also, I have the feeling the older I get, the less I care about what others think of me 🙂 One perk of getting older haha.
      xx, Theresa

    12. March 20, 2018 / 5:18 am

      This is such a great post – really inspiring. You’re so true though, it’s inportant to be happy in life and take control. You offer great advice on how to do that too!

    13. March 20, 2018 / 8:40 am

      I totally agree with you! I have come to a point in my life when I hardly give a crap about what others think, unless of course it’s anyone from my family or someone I truly care about. 🙂

    14. Megan
      March 20, 2018 / 9:54 am

      Thank you so much for sharing these thoughts… and thank you so much EVEN MORE for sharing such a fabulous look! You are killing it, it seems emotionally and fashion-wise <3

    15. March 20, 2018 / 10:23 am

      This is something I really started “living” in 2017 so I absolutely LOVE this post! I am 42 years old and my first 41 years were basically lived for other people…or at least lived to garner their approval. It is super important and freeing for us to begin to live our own lives, create our own joy and happiness and just do whatever our hearts lead us to do! Thanks for such a great post!

    16. Geraline Batarra
      March 20, 2018 / 10:40 am

      This is a great point of view. I totally agree with you. Just a post that I really need.

    17. March 20, 2018 / 11:53 am

      Couldn’t agree more!! I’ve really been trying hard to focus much less on what other people think of me and to focus more on doing what’s right for me!

    18. March 20, 2018 / 11:58 am

      I am approaching the big 5-0! I can definitely attest to the line about taking care of your skin. (Don’t forget your neck! lol) I was nodding my head as I read your post. You’re right about not sweating the small stuff in our youth and not being afraid to show people who you really are. After all, who wants to be loved for someone they are not?

    19. March 20, 2018 / 1:02 pm

      I love that the older I get, the less I care about people’s perceptions of me. While I do desire to be well-liked, I am becoming more confident in the skin I’m in!

    20. March 20, 2018 / 1:39 pm

      I just adore this post! Thanks for sharing

    21. Elizabeth O
      March 20, 2018 / 1:41 pm

      I loved your message in this post, you definitely made some really valid points. I also love your dress it’s so fun!

    22. March 20, 2018 / 3:00 pm

      This is such a great post and honestly so inspiring. It really made me think about all the different things in life and what I’ve learned too. I love this.

    23. March 20, 2018 / 5:14 pm

      This is great advice. I can’t imagine living your entire life trying to please others and not do what you want.

    24. March 20, 2018 / 5:30 pm

      Great post of wisdom to follow your bliss! As they say, be yourself, because everyone else is taken =). I celebrate this milestone and rite of passage as you becoming wiser and wiser unto yourself <3

    25. March 20, 2018 / 6:14 pm

      I can really resonate with this as I approach the big 3-0! I have been focusing so much on just doing what makes me happy rather than just doing what has to get done even if it makes me miserable. There is always a loophole!

    26. March 20, 2018 / 8:53 pm

      I couldn’t agree any more. It is so important to focus on what makes us happy and not worry about what people think of us, although that can be hard to overcome. I always used to be someone who would care about what other people think but now I am learning to be happy. On another note you are beautiful and I love this outfit on you!

    27. March 20, 2018 / 10:47 pm

      Love this post! I’ll be turning the big 3-0 next year, and I’ve been trying not to dread it because seriously, there’s so much to look forward to!

    28. March 21, 2018 / 2:47 am

      I think for me turning 30 was a big eye-opener. This might sound odd but learning to do what makes me happy and worry less about what others think is not something that I did until I became a mom.

    29. March 21, 2018 / 5:27 pm

      This is amazing advice! I am in my mid-twenties and it so essential to grow out of the mindset of trying to please everyone else instead of yourself. At this point in your life, you are living for yourself (and maybe your child, if you have one) and no one else. So it is necessary to start making decisions based on how you want YOUR life to go.

    30. March 21, 2018 / 8:43 pm

      This is such a good reminder! Sometimes it’s hard to remember these things when you go through every day life!

    31. McKenna bleu
      March 22, 2018 / 12:18 pm

      Could not agree more. It’s so hard to not worry about what others think but I swear if you can NOT care it’s the key to happiness.

    32. March 22, 2018 / 12:41 pm

      Yes, totally agree with all of this! I definitely think you’re a happier person if you stop caring so much what others think.

    33. March 23, 2018 / 12:44 pm

      First off – you are GORGEOUS!

      Secondly, I totally agree. I have struggled with taking the time to worry about myself and only about others. Not that it is a bad thing, but when it directly affects my happiness, state of mind, and self-love, then it became an issue for me!

      xo, L
      http://www.leannaranieri.com

    34. Katie
      March 25, 2018 / 4:19 pm

      I totally agree with these. Doing what makes you happy is extremely important. I find that I make decisions based on whether I’ll be happy with the outcome in the long run.

      Katie | http://www.millennialonthemove.com

    35. March 25, 2018 / 8:44 pm

      I am so thankful that my life wasn’t all downhill once I turned 18. In fact, I’ve found it to be the opposite.

      It is so important to take care of ourselves before taking care of others. You can’t pour from an empty glass!

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