Embracing your Inner Weirdo

Anyone feel like a Martian amongst Earthlings? Me too and I wouldn’t have it any other way! I posted this super fun alien-based gif on Instagram a few days ago in partnership with my friends at @cakefx in celebration of the upcoming 4th season of Cake. It’s no secret that my content is.. different and rather alien amongst creator content across the ‘gram. I’ve been in the business now for five years and if there’s one thing I’ve learned and stay true to is being myself and embracing my inner weirdo.

cake fx alien

Being yourself is obviously subjective but I think especially in the social media world it’s essential to find what makes YOU unique and hold it close. When I first decided to start blogging and kicked off my instagram (originally the Daiquiri Diaries) I really didn’t know much about any of it. I already know this comment is loaded, but at the risk of talking shit/being my blunt self, all I saw were accounts featuring the same “it girl” and the same outfits. At the time, that seemed to be what was “popular” on Instagram and seemingly what it took to “make it.” Let’s also enter my crashing mental health that landed me in a very, very, dark place that coincidentally took root within my first year of blogging. Not only was I bored and unfilled with what I was creating but it became very clear I wasn’t being true to myself. My loss of self was a swirl of chaos and destruction that nearly had me fold up everything entirely but instead, I took a hard look at what I was doing versus what would actually give me purpose and thus Tararrized was born.

To be clear – I’m in no way judging what anyone else chooses to be their niche, aesthetic, or style. We all have different tastes and ideas as to what makes us tick. I just knew that when it came to me trying to “fit in” with the popular girls it absolutely did not serve me well. If you happen to love walking down the sidewalk with a filter and a Starbucks coffee cup, you do you girl. Loads of creators I know make a fantastic living off of doing just that and I fully support them. My quirky personality needs something different and that’s okay, too. As long as you’re staying true to you and surrounding yourself with people who add to your happiness, keep it up. My purpose for this post is to reiterate not being afraid of what seems different. Maybe you’re a closet weirdo nervous of outside judgment.. I get that. Maybe weird and different makes you uncomfortable.. also a normal response. Growing up I was TERRIFIED of being anything normal. Kids that were different were picked on and shut out. They didn’t eat at the “right” lunch tables or hang with the “popular” kids. Now I roll my eyes and wish I could give young Tara a big ol’ hug. Looking back at high school and who/what was popular is such a laugh. I spent SO MUCH ENERGY worrying about the opinion of others and how to fit in… snooze. Adults tell you that high school is momentary and trivial, but as a teen you definitely think that’s a load. Is it different for kids now? I hope so.

No matter how old we are or what stage of life we’re in there’s always some new definition of popularity and shoulda/woulda/coulda. Social media constantly shows you what’s “trending” in home decor, fashion, hobbies, and even relationships. OMG your home isn’t all white cabinetry, modern fixtures and organized pantries?! UNCOOL. Your significant other doesn’t take cutesy IG photos with you and trendy TikTok videos?! CRISIS. We’re all pushed into a corner of conforming to what’s popular and attaching our self-worth to it.

So I say again, find your eccentricities and hitch a ride on that train. It’s far more outlasting than fleeting social media trends and surface level smiles. I stick to these tips and sometimes have to remind myself flying my freak flag is what drives me – even if it intimidates others. Being an alien leads a world of new perspectives and opportunities 🙂

  • Own all the aspects of YOU – the good, the bad, the ugly, the weird quirks. Nurture your weirdness and creativity. Know your strengths – shout them from the rooftops! Pinpoint your weaknesses and work towards improving your shortcomings. One of the ways I’ve grown to accept my inner weirdo and individuality is by accepting myself for who I am, flaws and all. Being at peace with who I am gives me the ability to fully apply my uniqueness to achieving my lofty goals and living a fulfilled life.
  • Admit your flaws – I embrace my imperfections but it took me a really really long time to do that. They make me authentic, unique, and less of a robot shaped by society or social media. I love that I don’t blindly follow influencers or trends simply because everyone else does – they’re not always worth it, I promise you that. I’m also able to recognize that maybe with a little reflection and intention, I can shift some of those flaws into attributes. One of my former professors once told me there’s a fine line between being bold and being careless, the key being self-awareness and reassessments. For instance, I was a person that could judge people far too quickly based upon first impressions. Now, I remember to give people grace and keep in mind we’re all going through shit the world doesn’t see. Sometimes that carries into the first impressions other see of us. Just like how I want people to know maybe I’m just having a bad day I can also afford them same mindset. This world is a tough place and we’re all just doing our best to survive and thrive.
  • No means no – Knowing how and when to use NO. I’m telling you – I used to be so afraid of saying no. I thought people would think less of me or get mad or even respect me less because I told them no. Quite the opposite actually – people learn you have boundaries and grow to respect them and your opinions. If they don’t, you know they’re either an unreasonable person or simply not worth having around. Saying no is empowering; it gives rise to your own voice, self respect, and self awareness. Saying no is also a key ingredient in self love, protecting your time, energy, and values. Say no to things that might not add value to who you are or and especially to things that take away from what makes you special. Protect that weirdness girl!
  • Being credible – Not only does this apply to being 100% authentic to yourself but also.. don’t be full of shit. I might be weird and different but I’m also a smart cookie. We can all speak to our own unique life experiences but wowee is social media a hotbed for people talking out their ass. Be the person people know to take seriously because you’re not spouting bullshit to anyone and everyone who will listen. If I don’t know the answer or I have zero experience with a given subject I will absolutely and immediate say so. I’ll then go research it to death until I do. I also point people to someone I know is an authority on the subject matter because lifting others up in their own successes is paramount.
  • Have the courage to accept failure – Failure is scary, there’s no denying it. BUT failure is practically inevitable, and it’s what boosts us to constantly do better, be better, be more. Having the courage to fail only to learn and leap beyond that low point isn’t something everyone can do, but all the greats can! Think of Einstein, Picasso, Galileo, Ashley Longshore (google her epic art!). There are countless weirdos throughout history who despite their many failures and the people who considered them oddballs persevered to achieve their goals. Failure and doubt can be the momentum you need to be your own form of incredible!
  • Step out of your comfort zone – this is the biggest piece of advice I can offer anyone. Comfort zones are exactly what they say, comfortable. Remember, though, that comfort easily transforms into suffocation – making it all the more easy to play it safe and never truly explore or push your limits. We don’t find growth by being safe and we rarely stumble across new opportunities by being comfortable or timid. Even if it gets awkward because it’s new, intimidating, or a little scary, have the courage to push through because you know it’s shaping you to be your own incredible role model instead of idolizing someone else. It takes backbone, a healthy amount of sass, and heaps of weirdness to achieve your dreams.

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