Friday Feels | An Honest Discussion – The Boomerang Parent
So much has been on my heart lately – and I say on my heart because I tend to be very true to my Aquarian roots and display my emotions vividly on my sleeves. I also tend to experience things (emotions) quite intensely, which when combined with depression and anxiety can be suffocating. So let’s have a discussion on the qualms of my conscience shall we?
Instagram Live Session Debut
This week has been enlightening for many reasons. I finally gathered my courage to do a live session on Instagram – but it was pretty late (so most people were asleep). It was great practice though and the cool thing – I got to meet so many followers of mine from across the world! Countries like Venezuela, Mexico, Colombia, India, Turkey, Italy, Guatemala, Canada, Malaysia, I could go on and on. I was so captivated by the ability to connect to these individuals and laugh together and answer some questions. I do need to work on my Spanish though – I am mostly fluent but I am SO shy when it comes to speaking it out loud! I think because I hardly speak it anymore and I feel sincerely out of practice. Going to have to remedy that!
Connecting with my followers is something that has been incredibly important to me from the very beginning. While I know I may not be everyone’s cup of tea (and that’s completely okay) the feedback I’ve received from many of my followers is amazingly uplifting. Being raw, approachable, and entirely transparent is truly the meaning of a blogger is it not? I hate hearing that “other bloggers” never respond when followers genuinely seek out conversation and dialogue from us. So again, thank you to my followers who are all so incredible, thoughtful and unique. You guys give me so much joy.
I’ve had some people ask me why I didn’t go to fashion week. Did I want to? Yes – I’ve never been. Then I realized the dates fell across Charlie and my 6th wedding anniversary & his birthday – both of which we haven’t had the luxury of celebrating together for years (remember he is a military pilot). Though I wanted to partake in the frills and fancies of fashion week, I didn’t and wouldn’t place that above our marriage that has finally located itself in the same state!
The Boomerang Parent
Another reason keeping me grounded in Texas is the present state of health with my father. Without going into grand detail – it got me thinking, when do you shift from being the child of your parent to the parent of your parent? The chronicity of my dad’s illness happens to be well within my field of knowledge and yet – the man is as stubborn as an ox. We should all (God willing) be for fortunate enough to see our parents well into gray hairs and wrinkles but this seems to come with some surprising role reversals. Suddenly you find yourself counseling or even reprimanding your parents – whoa..what?! I had to take a step back and consider a) why my dad was being so obstinate and b) why I was so irritated and even angry about it. I then realized as you get older, or even when you’re in a situation beyond your control, it’s the loss of control that can be so intimidating. The fear of the unknown and loss of a previous livelihood is an unnerving process. I see it all the time in patients and yet, I wasn’t giving my dad that recognition. Now – I try to extend him that grace.
All of that being said, having a parent with a chronic illness is unbelievably difficult, and remember – they’re trying to get used to just like we are. Being the nurse that I am and having the healthcare knowledge I possess – I know all the scary possibilities and what if’s. The short of it: I am scared to death I’ll lose my dad sooner than I was ever prepared for.
It’s currently 4am and I’ve read there was a magnitude 8 earthquake near the Pijijiapan, Mexico and very near Guatemala. The earthquake was felt as far as Mexico City and now they’re issuing a tsunami warning. Hurricane Irma continues to devastate and demolish everything along her path – all I can think about are the citizens in these countries, the lives claimed by these storms, and the horrors these people are living. And yet – I look on Instagram and people are off in New York frolicking at Fashion Week and talking about their busy schedule of meetings and shoots and dress changes and parties – blah blah blah. It all just seems so massively inappropriate to me right now and I can’t get it out of my mind. I haven’t seen yet which support efforts are in place for Hurricane Irma – I am still donating through Amazon for Hurricane Harvey victims each time I shop. Undoubtedly the American Red Cross with take action.. but I will keep you guys posted. I am really feeling called to get up and freaking move to action. I am a nurse for Christ sake. I need to use my gifts and this freaking education I keep harping on and on about for some good. Going to look into this…stay tuned.
September 8, 2017 @ 8:19 am
Great Post! and photos are so good!!
September 8, 2017 @ 12:54 pm
thank you Danielle!
September 8, 2017 @ 8:23 am
I am a single parent of two. Divorced by the way. This post is so amazing because I do not battle with depression but anxiety. Sometimes I feel over whelmed and I feel like I’m crazy because these are my kids. I should.not feel this way. I step back and look and see that I am a full time working single parent and provider. I never get a break so my anxiety is justified. My favorite part of the day is bedtime. I get a solid 5 mins to thinks before I am out cold lol. Great article and I know my comment is probably not a great discussion but I really wanted to leave it.
September 8, 2017 @ 12:51 pm
Netra – I am SO glad you did! Never be afraid to post what you’re feeling here 🙂 Anxiety is such an unwelcome visitor, don’t you agree? Before you know it, your mind is racing with so many possible scenarios and situations and you’re like how did get down this path of thoughts? You’re amazing just by being the role model that you are for your children and being a single parent – I have so much respect for single parents! Especially lady bosses like yourself that do it all! Thank you so much for sharing your personal struggle with me!
September 8, 2017 @ 12:40 pm
Tara, I loved catching up on your life – what’s been on your heart, your fears, and your concerns. It felt like I had an instant connection! I adore your style, and you are absolutely stunning! Sending love and prayers your way for your dad….
September 8, 2017 @ 12:53 pm
thank you Ashton! I LOVE hearing that – feeling connected is what I strive for! And thank you so much for your prayers, we all need them!
September 8, 2017 @ 1:17 pm
September 8, 2017 @ 1:46 pm
First off, love all your outfits. Beautifully stunning!
Secondly, I know exactly what you mean about being shy speaking out loud in another language you’re supposedly fluent in. I’m the same way when it comes to French. I haven’t practiced in so long that I feel really self-conscious when I do speak it, but native speakers usually tell me I’m doing great!
Third, I love that you’re connecting with your followers. Blogging is all about making connections and meeting new people along the way – at least in my opinion!
Fourth, so sorry to hear about your dad. I kinda sorta know the feeling. I love how you took the time to step back and analyze the situation though. We need more people doing that in life.
Fifth, I know what you mean about helping all those being affected by the natural disasters happening around the world. It’s so scary to watch as people’s lives are being turned upside down. I’m definitely keeping them all in my thoughts and prayers as those storms continue to wreak havoc.
Lastly, thank you for sharing what’s on your mind and on your heart. Keep up the great work! [Sorry for the obnoxiously long comment 🙂 ]
September 8, 2017 @ 3:46 pm
Thank YoU Larissa! I’m so glad I’m not alone on the language front – it becomes so daunting when you don’t speak as often! I start intimidating myself and then it’s all downhill. I love the French language, it is so gorgeous! I could listen to it all day!
September 8, 2017 @ 1:47 pm
I love that black flowered wrap dress. Do you have a link for it?
I am with you on the boomerang parenting. A very strange experience. I find I have a huge level of frustration and even resentment that they are not the parents I had as a youth, I have to step back and examine these feelings so that I don’t express them to my parents.
September 8, 2017 @ 3:49 pm
Hi Gillian! Isn’t the dress amazing? You can find it here: https://www.thereformation.com/products/addy-dress-garland
And yes, the resentment I thin was the most shocking emotion because then you feel guilty for having those feelings. It’s such a catch-22. Having moments of reflection certainly help process all of it, at least a little at a time 🙂
September 8, 2017 @ 2:08 pm
Nice Friday roundup and updates. I hear ya on that boomerang parent. It’s not easy, and sometimes we have to see their view from their shoes!
September 8, 2017 @ 6:58 pm
What a great roundup ? I love to see what you are up to. I have not ever heard of the term boomerang parent.
Megan | Ginger Mom & the Kindle Quest
September 8, 2017 @ 8:06 pm
I loved looking through your Instagram round up. The photos are gorgeous and I love your fashion style in them 🙂
Emily at theexpatmama.com
September 8, 2017 @ 8:23 pm
oh wow what a lot on your mind lately. however, as silly as this sounds, you still looked absolutely fabulous! and if dressing up helps you cope with the stresses of day to day then please don’t let anyone dull that for you. in fact, today I’m going to take my inspiration from you and put something nice on.
September 8, 2017 @ 11:37 pm
There is a lot said in this post. You have a lot on your plate, but I’m glad that you found a positive way to express everythings and you seem to have a flare for fashion.
September 9, 2017 @ 8:35 am
I enjoyed your Instagram Roundup! I love all of your outfits.
September 9, 2017 @ 1:01 pm
Instagram live is so unnerving but also so fun. I am glad you enjoyed it. Also, there is always another Fashion Week in Feb. you can go for. Loved all your looks. You always looks great.
September 9, 2017 @ 1:55 pm
Love your photographs and all of your beautiful outfits!
September 9, 2017 @ 5:45 pm
I am totally addicted to your style! That Instagram roundup made me want to go shopping ^^
September 9, 2017 @ 7:50 pm
I love your style and your honesty! Parent-child relationships can be so meaningful and valuable. It’s hard to see parents become less capable of certain activities, and I can only imagine how hard it is for both of you to deal with your Dad’s chronic illness.
Sarah Camille // SCsScoop.com
September 9, 2017 @ 10:41 pm
Happy Anniversary! Mine is coming up in October (11 years!). I wanted to attend fashion week so bad but ya know… kids lol. I’m very sorry to hear about your father, I just lost my MIL a few months back due to illness and it is never easy. I will be praying for you and your family!
September 10, 2017 @ 1:59 am
Your instagram round up photos are fun! Boomerang parenting I can see this happening to me sometimes I do feel like I parent my parents sometimes lol.
September 11, 2017 @ 1:04 pm
There’s alot going on in the world right now. It’s good to maintain perspective and take care of those we can impact the most.
September 11, 2017 @ 2:36 pm
That’s so awesome that you finally got to do a live stream on Insta! Hopefully next time I can make it!! 🙂 Love this post, girl! xo
September 11, 2017 @ 8:00 pm
Your puppy is so cute and all of your outfits are cute as well. I have family in both Texas and Florida that went through the past hurricanes, it brings me to perspective that it could have been a lot worst.
September 12, 2017 @ 4:50 pm
Wooooo what a beautiful post, outfifts and pictures????????????????????????good job
September 17, 2017 @ 10:01 am
This is such a b rutally honest and open post on this part of your life. Now that I’m getting older, it sometimes crosses my mind about when, if the time should come, about caring for my parents. Not a great thought, not taking care of them, but their mental condition. Meaning, if one of my kids had to care for me, it would make me feel pretty awful that I care for myself.
Oh, and you look awesome Hunni!
September 17, 2017 @ 1:49 pm
Your pictures are so great!! Nice post