So much has been on my heart lately – and I say on my heart because I tend to be very true to my Aquarian roots and display my emotions vividly on my sleeves. I also tend to experience things (emotions) quite intensely, which when combined with depression and anxiety can be suffocating. So let’s have a discussion on the qualms of my conscience shall we?
Instagram Live Session Debut
This week has been enlightening for many reasons. I finally gathered my courage to do a live session on Instagram – but it was pretty late (so most people were asleep). It was great practice though and the cool thing – I got to meet so many followers of mine from across the world! Countries like Venezuela, Mexico, Colombia, India, Turkey, Italy, Guatemala, Canada, Malaysia, I could go on and on. I was so captivated by the ability to connect to these individuals and laugh together and answer some questions. I do need to work on my Spanish though – I am mostly fluent but I am SO shy when it comes to speaking it out loud! I think because I hardly speak it anymore and I feel sincerely out of practice. Going to have to remedy that!
Connecting with my followers is something that has been incredibly important to me from the very beginning. While I know I may not be everyone’s cup of tea (and that’s completely okay) the feedback I’ve received from many of my followers is amazingly uplifting. Being raw, approachable, and entirely transparent is truly the meaning of a blogger is it not? I hate hearing that “other bloggers” never respond when followers genuinely seek out conversation and dialogue from us. So again, thank you to my followers who are all so incredible, thoughtful and unique. You guys give me so much joy.
I’ve had some people ask me why I didn’t go to fashion week. Did I want to? Yes – I’ve never been. Then I realized the dates fell across Charlie and my 6th wedding anniversary & his birthday – both of which we haven’t had the luxury of celebrating together for years (remember he is a military pilot). Though I wanted to partake in the frills and fancies of fashion week, I didn’t and wouldn’t place that above our marriage that has finally located itself in the same state!
The Boomerang Parent
Another reason keeping me grounded in Texas is the present state of health with my father. Without going into grand detail – it got me thinking, when do you shift from being the child of your parent to the parent of your parent? The chronicity of my dad’s illness happens to be well within my field of knowledge and yet – the man is as stubborn as an ox. We should all (God willing) be for fortunate enough to see our parents well into gray hairs and wrinkles but this seems to come with some surprising role reversals. Suddenly you find yourself counseling or even reprimanding your parents – whoa..what?! I had to take a step back and consider a) why my dad was being so obstinate and b) why I was so irritated and even angry about it. I then realized as you get older, or even when you’re in a situation beyond your control, it’s the loss of control that can be so intimidating. The fear of the unknown and loss of a previous livelihood is an unnerving process. I see it all the time in patients and yet, I wasn’t giving my dad that recognition. Now – I try to extend him that grace.
All of that being said, having a parent with a chronic illness is unbelievably difficult, and remember – they’re trying to get used to just like we are. Being the nurse that I am and having the healthcare knowledge I possess – I know all the scary possibilities and what if’s. The short of it: I am scared to death I’ll lose my dad sooner than I was ever prepared for.
It’s currently 4am and I’ve read there was a magnitude 8 earthquake near the Pijijiapan, Mexico and very near Guatemala. The earthquake was felt as far as Mexico City and now they’re issuing a tsunami warning. Hurricane Irma continues to devastate and demolish everything along her path – all I can think about are the citizens in these countries, the lives claimed by these storms, and the horrors these people are living. And yet – I look on Instagram and people are off in New York frolicking at Fashion Week and talking about their busy schedule of meetings and shoots and dress changes and parties – blah blah blah. It all just seems so massively inappropriate to me right now and I can’t get it out of my mind. I haven’t seen yet which support efforts are in place for Hurricane Irma – I am still donating through Amazon for Hurricane Harvey victims each time I shop. Undoubtedly the American Red Cross with take action.. but I will keep you guys posted. I am really feeling called to get up and freaking move to action. I am a nurse for Christ sake. I need to use my gifts and this freaking education I keep harping on and on about for some good. Going to look into this…stay tuned.