I’m happy, although sore, to say I’m FINALLY back to the gym and lifting weights again! I honestly missed it and was more surprised than expected when those endorphins smacked me in the face! While I love our Peloton bike, there’s something very satisfying about lifting and the feeling of accomplishment after your workout. Since my seizure disorder began 2 1/2 years ago, I really backed off (completely for about a year) from how active I had been. I was terrified of seizing (still am) in a gym full of strangers who wouldn’t know what to do. I also had a trainer whom I LOVED and trusted when I lived in Dallas but had to give up after we moved to the ‘burbs. I was looking through my phone recently and deleting some photos and random screenshots from years ago. I happened across some photos and little videos my trainer and I had taken during our workouts. It’s a vivid reminder of my history of eating disorders and body dysmorphia that, in those moments, I didn’t see my body for how it actually appeared. Looking at them now, I was in great shape and more toned than I realized and proof that my disordered thinking is still very active. I was a healthy weight with muscle. Growing up as a ballet dancer and dedicating half of my life to it meant a complete obsession with being thin. In my mind, skinny wasn’t just “healthy” – it was NECESSARY. Skinny didn’t mean just toned, it meant being thin without regard to health. It meant strong without bulk and without eating. Bingeing, purging, restricting, excessive exercise – I’ve been there through all of them. Today, I weigh more and lost a lot of the tone I (didn’t) appreciate at the time. Much of that is the stress of the past few years of NP school, poorer eating habits, and lack of exercise. Seeing those videos of my working muscles really was an eye-opener again of how my history with ED and body dysmorphia is something I constantly work on and battle, even today. What makes my current predicament tough is the IVF cycles that don’t allow exercise. “Light walking” is somewhat allowed but my doctor didn’t want me to physically exert myself at all. Right now we’re taking a bit of a break which allows me to get back into the swing of things, but we’re hoping to restart with a new physician this next month. In my opinion, these past several months of being on an overwhelming amount of hormones were harder on my body than exercise. The hormones, mood swings, and BLOAT from loads of hormones and medication left me feeling gross from the inside out. It really is INTENSE. Will it be worth it? I’m praying so! I’m planning on staying active with walking workouts during this next cycle and maybe some cycling on the Peloton – we’ll see what this physician recommends. Annnnnywayyy, all of that to say in my story today I was wearing some pastel lilac Nike sneakers that many people loved and wanted the link for. It honestly surprised me because I don’t really share much of “fashion” anymore. Sadly, they are two years old but I wanted to piece together some similar finds that might be worth considering!
Today & the shoes in question
Also peep my leg hairs because I’m an imperfect & busy person 🙂
If you’re in the Dallas area and looking for a trainer, Brooke is amazing and I miss her! Check her out on Instagram.
I have teamed up with an amazing group of bloggers to give YOU a chance to win $750 PayPal Cash!
Simply enter below by completing the rafflecopter. You’ll receive one entry per completion. This giveaway is open to the U.S. and Canada only and runs until EOD 11/21. Winner will be announced here. Good Luck!
Void where prohibited. By entering the giveaway you acknowledge that you are agreeing to complete each task, which involves following, liking and subscribing to newsletter’s.