Okay so I was googling zodiac signs and encountered this HILARIOUS breakdown of the twelve signs. Not hilarious because it’s meant to be funny, but hilarious because it seems like a first hand account of each of the personalities. I was in tears. As an Aquarius, the report on an Aquarius woman was probably the most comical thing I’ve read in a while. So let’s break this review down shall we? I’ll link the post at the bottom of this one for your own reading pleasure.
She’s a Quality Woman
Now … of course I agree with that one but I can’t just say only Aquarian women are “quality women.” We all are quality women and unique in our own ways. Do I value myself as being unique and unforgettable? You’re damn right I do.
They are smart and INDEPENDENT (all caps included)
This is something I’ve read in just about every astrological site when describing an Aquarian. Super smart and independent. I couldn’t agree more. Although I think intelligence is measured in a variety of forms, I’m a very smart cookie (but I do have my questionable moments). Education and the pursuit of knowledge are two things I value quite highly. Education and learning should never stop when your time in school comes to an end. Always choose to continue learning. Listen to a podcast, read a new book. I cracked up when I saw they listed independence in screaming all caps. I think anyone who knows me even just somewhat well will agree undoubtedly I’m independent to a fault. I hate handouts, I love to self teach, I hate being smothered, and love my coveted alone time. Learning lessons the hard way is still something I struggle from – never listened to mom’s advice.
Aquarians in relationships
According to this site, Aquarian women give their men space, aren’t clingy, prefer to take care of themselves,will meet you halfway financially and despise boring relationships. Hahahaha. OH my gosh the laughs! While I don’t like being smothered, I can get super lonely very quickly. I hate sleeping alone at night, probably because I was (and still am) afraid of the dark. I swear the movie Exorcism of Emily Rose forever ruined me. If I wake up at 3 am, I’m super freaked out. Anyone else know what I’m talking about here? I can also be stubbornly independent to a fault. Even in my occasional fits of crazy, I demand to be loved. I find the financial statement to be a bit strange but do agree with the boring relationships snippet. I need someone exciting and intellectually stimulating – Charlie and I do the Times crossword together on Sunday’s and I love it! It also says a man has to use reason rather than emotion when trying to snag her – LOL. How do you like a man to pursue you? Comedy? Flattery?
She hates boring people
Ehhhh that’s a bit of a stretch because I can be a total granny. Give me sweatpants, a cup of hot tea, and a documentary or my kindle and I’m in heaven for a few solid hours. Add a hot bubble bath with some candles and I’m in my own little slice of heaven. I definite boring as people who think wayyyyy too much of themselves for no justifiable reason, and Dallas is full of them. People who settle for mediocrity, believe going out every weekend and getting wasted, or don’t make some effort to better the world around them/help out a person in need bores me. Make sense?
Aquarian women are analytical
Isn’t this every woman? Man oh man do I overthink things! I break apart any and every situation until it’s withering away from over analysis overload. Example: man my head is killing me. Maybe I didn’t drink enough water. Maybe I didn’t get enough sleep, ooooh I want new pillows and my jaw is killing me, TMJ? Maybe I drank too much coffee/tea today. Oh… I need to order another tin of Harney & Sons Hot Cinnamon Tea. Wait.. also add detergent to the Amazon list. Starts googling TMJ – ends up on dental induced endocarditis and associated symptoms. Wait, how did I get here? THAT is the crazy tangent of my brain yall.
Aquarian women have many platonic male friends
Does anyone else out there feel like they relate much better to dudes than with their fellows females? I’ve had dude friends for as long as I can remember. Some of my best friends in college were dudes, whose couch I unashamedly took really loud snoring naps on. it was the comfiest old couch ever yall. To me, females can be vicious creatures and really full of it. High school was full of back stabby girls and the blogging world is full of some serious mean girls. (disclaimer: not all bloggers are mean, but there are quite a few, don’t be fooled). The females I do surround myself with are amazing and incredibly unique. They lift me up and make my life better.
A bone to pick
So whoever wrote the piece I’m referencing must have had a serious row with an Aquarian woman. They differentiate between January and February Aquarians, how one takes zero shit from anyone (january) and the other is more of a pushover and genuinely sweet (february). They both, however, are one-dimensional and unfair who change the rules to their favor and only acknowledge their own points of view in an argument. HAHAHAHA. Like a said, they must have a bone to pick with an Aquarius woman. I will admit it is super difficult for me to say sorry and I never fight fairly (stubbornness). There was also this little gem which I’m going to just leave here for you: “There’s no winning. Aquarius females need men who will give her time to come down from level 10 when she has unleashed the dragon. Their wrath is crazy. They have bad tempers and just black out.”
Did you laugh as much as I did? Charlie could probably write on novel on that one – the dragon lady is real yall, we’ll just leave it at that. I blame my Latina and Native American blood – it’s a fiery combination to say the least. Thank God the man is a saint and loves me nonetheless.
You can read the full review of Aquarius personalties plus all the other signs here. I think you’ll laugh hysterically. And you MUST share with me something about your sign you agree or disagree with!
Photography by Rebecca @ Beckley Photo